My beautiful Family

My beautiful Family

Monday, November 7, 2011

When I grow up I wanna be...

This question has haunted me my whole life.  What do I want to be when I grow up?  I am 30 years old and I still haven't figured it out yet. 

Since I was old enough to talk I said I wanted to be a singer.  I still do, but I am to afraid to really go anywhere with it because I desperatly want to be good and I am horribly afraid that someone is going to tell me that I am not very good at it (yes I have been told my whole life that I am good at it and I still get told, but some of those people on American Idol were told they were good their whole lives too.  And no I am not fishing for compliments, just being honest).  I think if anyone were to tell me that I sucked at singing, I would curl up into a ball and die...seriously, I am overly sensitive to this issue, ask anyone that really really knows me, I really am.

When I was about 7 or so I learned how to crochet, nothing fancy, just chains and a blanket (nothing big enough to use because, come on, I was 7 and had no attention span), but within the last few years I picked it back up again.  Nothing to big or fancy, my attention span hasn't gotten much better over the years, but enough that I can make hats (with a very detailed pattern), blankets, scarfs, and that is about it so far, there are a lot of things I would love to make, but haven't had the time, or the right colors to make them, and if I make them in the wrong color it ruins the entire thing.  I love crocheting things, I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to that though, I will start something and undo it about a million times, no matter how far into it I am if I look and realize that I have done 75 rows and in the 3rd row, I added a stitch and it doesn't look right anymore, I will undo all 72 rows to redo that 3rd row just to make it perfect.  So that being said,  full length blanket can take me quite a while to make, so I tend to stick to small things.  I would love to be able to sell them and make a little play money, and I sold a few, but all it really covered was the cost of the yarn and the shipping, but I am not discouraged.

I love to write, I have always written things, when I was about 12 I started writing poetry.  I love reading, so for me writing was a natural thing, I love trying different writing styles, but none of them are me.  I have "written" many books that were a whole 7 pages of the same thing and way more detail than any book could ever need (I mean seriously, come on, now many ways can you say she was wearing a blue dress?), and no matter what kind of "book" I was writing, they all started, "It was a dark and stormy night..." yes I know worst opening ever.  The characters were always the same and the same thing always happened.  By the time I got a few pages into it, I was drawing a blank, and the whole creative writing process started.  As for my poetry, I wrote about 12 or 15 and that was about it, it helped me through a lot of heartbreak during middle and high school, and I had one published in a book that you could only read if you bought it through this one website, but it was published and I felt I had accomplished something when I was 14.

Drawing would be so cool!  I would love to draw some beautiful pictures, but I totally lack that skill.  I took ceramics in high school...we will just say that ceramics and art are not my strong points.  My stick figures laugh at me and even another blog I read would laugh so hard at my pics and she prides herself on her crappy pictures.

Being a massage therapist would be really cool too.  You get to make your own hours, make good money and you are helping people de-stress.  It would also be cool to be a CSI!  That would rock! 

I know that some of my ideas are out there, and some are pretty realistic, luckily I still have a lot of time to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

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