My beautiful Family

My beautiful Family

Monday, August 27, 2012

I'm baaaaack

I know I know, I said I would update better this time, but you know how it goes, time gets away from you, kids grow, vacation time starts and ends, school starts again, holidays come and go and still time keeps on going, how does that happen?  In the blink of an eye your little babies are starting kindergarten, one is graduating this year and all you can do is look back and sigh at how fast time is passing.
Just a little update, my grandpa did pass away on April 29, 2012.  It was extremely difficult, and very painful just like I knew it was.  Some family grew closer together and some grew further apart.  Some blame was thrown around and finally with some time, things have calmed down and are starting to get back to normal.  It was no ones fault, no one is to blame, it just happens when someone you love dearly passes away and all you can do is wait for more time to pass so things can be ok again, even though they are never back to 100%.
This year has brought a lot of changes, Haley started her senior year, although it wasn't like she ever ended her junior and started her senior year.  She spent the first week of summer at Disney with band, the next 5 weeks at college, and the rest of the summer at the high school doing community service, meetings and work up at the school getting it ready for this school year, so like I said, she never really stopped school this summer.
Taylor started 8th grade this year.  She is starting vollyball this year.  Her summer was spent the way any kid spends summer, laying around, sleeping all day, staying up all night and watching TV continually.  The way I spent my summers.  You couldn't pay me to take college classes and do work all summer at the school.
Rebecca and Sam moved to Austin with their dad.  I still haven't fully come to terms with it.  This is really hard for me to not be there for their first day of school, to go to their meet the teacher day, not go to their performances or anything like that.  I am still very bitter and angry that my ex did that without talking to me about it.  I just take the time I can with them, at least I got to spend most of the summer with them, and now I am just waiting for their excited call after their first day of 7th and 5th grade to find out how much they love their teacher and how many new friends they made.
Sierra and Ella started homeschool kindergarten and pre-k today.  Our first day.  Got them up early, started working on the letter "A", they made angels, colored pictures, practiced writing the letter A, worked on other letters and we did about a half a day.  For the first day of school they did pretty good.  They were very attentive, worked really hard and were so excited when they did it right.  I wasn't sure about homeschooling them, I knew I wanted to, but I think I psyched myself out about it and I am so glad that I decided to do it because I would be missing out on the excitement of them drawing an A perfect for the very first time.  It is awesome to have total control of what they learn and how fast.  I think this is going to work!!
Jimmy and I celebrate 7 years married next month!  We are going away this weekend to San Antonio, he is surprising me with a night out just the two of us.  It is so important that we do this every once in a while.  It keeps us remembering what it was like before we had 6 kids around all the time (or most of the time anyway).  I think that is something that a lot of marriages lack, one on one time, time to be husband and wife, not mom and dad.
Well I better close for now, I am being poked with a pen by Sierra and Ella who have decided they have played enough and they want to do more school!  I will try to post more often.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Rejection

Have you ever been rejected?  Have you ever walked into a room and felt every single eye turn on you and feel your skin crawl?  Ever felt that when people came up to you and shook your hand and you saw the glazed look in their eye and knew that they would rather be anywhere than where they are at that moment.
Rejection comes in many forms, a guy you have a crush on in high school, a girl you think is cute in college, your friend doesn't want to be your friend anymore because you run with the "nerds" and they are now a "jock."  A church that looks down its nose at you because you have been to prison.  An employer who doesn't want to hire you because you have kids so you will take to many days off. 
Sometimes it is right there in front of your face, sometimes it comes from your own family and other times it comes from out of nowhere from no one you know.  What you do with it is what really matters.  Do you hang your head in shame because you have been rejected, or do you hold your head high and walk with purpose because you know deep down that the rejection has nothing to do with you and absolutely everything to do with them. 
The reason I am posting about this (after being away for what seems like forever sorry things have been crazy) is because a huge part of our ministry is dealing with people who have felt in one way or another that they are rejected or feel that they have been/are being rejected by society, the workforce, the church and just about everyone and they are at a point where they aren't sure which way to turn.  Tonight our youth coordinator got us in to speak at a church, Jimmy, and 2 members of our ministry gave their testimonies, and something that rang true in all 3 of their testimonies was the need to feel accepted, accepted by the "wrong crowd" they all turned to drugs or alcohol to be accepted by them, in turn being rejected by the "right crowd" and their family.  They have all turned their lives around for God, and have been accepted by our ministry family, and they have become a huge part of our ministry and family.
But the thing is, it is so fragile.  Sometimes it just takes the wrong word or look from someone to start a downward spiral, all stemming from rejection.  There are some people who will not think anything of it, and others who it will tug at your heart strings, and I really hope there are more of those that will feel for anyone who has been rejected than those who won't care.  My main reason for this is to raise awareness for anyone who has ever been rejected in their lives.  If I have ever made anyone feel that way, I truly apologize and sincerely hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Have you ever made someone feel rejected?  Ever felt that way yourself?